do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
