My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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