Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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