I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Randomize