I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You pole danced in your parka.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
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