i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
