Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize