Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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