dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
