I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
