We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize