My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
