Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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