She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We have started to decorate penises.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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