I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
