I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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