Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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