just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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