Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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