weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
