LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
