I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i've created a new STD.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
