I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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