Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Drake has all the answers
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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