I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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