is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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