You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I don't think brook has ever known best
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
