you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
