so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
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