non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
