i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
