He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
