atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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