Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
