Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
