He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
