never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
smell my finger.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
