Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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