Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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