I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
