I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize