Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize