she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
