Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
