wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
