There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
