do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
