it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
