i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Say something about gay babies.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
