Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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