she was so not down for the gang bang
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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