Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My pussy is not your playground.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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