Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
