yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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