Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Found the puke drawer
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
