Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
