When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
