the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
