no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
