Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
