it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize