I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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