Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i wish my penis had a tongue
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
