We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
