omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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