please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Houston, we have a squirter
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize