So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
