ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize