i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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