Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
