Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize